


Poor Insane Son

by PARADOX420



Category: InvaderZim - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Membrane's Past, Other, Professor Membrane Tries to Be a Better Parent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:34:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 11,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26902969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PARADOX420/pseuds/PARADOX420
Summary: When Professor Membrane's son, Dib, nearly dies in a freak piggy accident, he takes the matter of his son's sanity into his own hands.
Relationships: Dib & Gaz & Professor Membrane, Dib & Gaz (Invader Zim), Dib & Professor Membrane, Dib & Zim (Invader Zim), Gaz & Professor Membrane
Comments: 8
Kudos: 50





	1. Freak Piggy Accident

**Author's Note:**

> (An AU, loosely based on an alternate timeline version of Bad, Bad, Rubby Piggy, changed as needed)
> 
> (Also Membrane's own past traumas are touched upon through out the story)

Something wasn’t right. 

Professor Membrane sensed it, it was almost as if the timeline was completely altered. Or maybe it was just a bad omen. But the professor didn’t believe in omens. 

And besides, why would he be on the wrong timeline? Today he was filming the latest episode of Probing the Membrane of Science. A little kid had a very good question, the answer to which he found super important

And so he carried on, showing the kid the answer, an example he gives being replacing breakfast chunks with a more horrible, and more horrible tasting, squid. Things were going smoothly, possibly the best day for him yet. The dull minded people of his universe were listening to him and getting smarter. His goal, to untap the subconscious potential genius of children’s minds by demonstrating science to them, was working.

Most importantly, he warned the audience about using a past-replacement device for nefarious purposes, or even at all. 

“Altering the past can have too many unforeseen consequences, and anyone who would build such a device is an idiot!

***

Unbeknownst to him, such a device had been built and used for a most nefarious purpose. 

Mary, the young blue-eyed new intern, interuppted the show, and pulled him aside.

“Professor Membrane, sir, I have bad news! Something terrible happened outside the lab!”

“Can this not wait? I’m busy right now.”

“Sir, it’s about your son!”

“Ugh what insane thing is he taking part in this time.” His son, Dib Membrane, was going to suffer a long grounding if this keynote had to be interrupted because he’d damaged property again chasing the nonexistent paranormal. Being insane.

“Sir, the local paramedics just called.”

Membrane’s ears perked up. “What why?” Sure, this wasn’t the first time something like this has happened. After all insane children are accident prone, Dib was no different.

“I’m sorry sir, your son is dead.”

***

For the first time in years, Membrane’s mind went completely blank. Sure, he knew his son lived on the edge, but he was also incredibly resilient. Quick healing and stronger, even more intelligent, than the average child. He made sure of that when he created both him and his sister. What on earth had to have happened for him to be dead? No, this was impossible!

“This better not be some sort of joke, intern.”

“N-no way sir,” she had begun to stutter.

“Then what are you doing? Don’t let them take the body away, let me see the boy.” 

“With all due respect sir, what could you possibly have in mind to do with your dead son’s corpse?”

“Plenty in mind, Mary. Simply put, don’t you dare call my boy child a corpse!”

Mary stood in confusion. Had the professor finally snapped? Was he so grief stricken that he was in utter denial. Or—- wait, it was well known that he was willing to experiment on children. Never to a dangerous degree, but if something was done in the name of science, age was rarely taken into account. And he had an entire show directed towards children…. And maybe it didn’t matter to him if the child was dead or not.

“No!” She snapped, “You’re a sick, sick man Membrane. Your child is dead, show some respect and give him a proper burial instead of donating his body science… for your own gain!”

Membrane put a hand on the young lady’s shoulder. 

“Don’t touch me!” She pulled away.

“My apologies, I just want you to hear me out.”

“Ugh fine, I’ll give you one minute to explain yourself.”

“I do need to conduct an experiment on my son's body-“

“I KNEW IT!”

“To save his life.”

Mary’s facial expression shifted from that of anger to understanding. 

“Well if you say so…”

“Now hurry along, there isn’t much time!”

***

Mary obeyed. She halted the medical workers before the could wrap up Dib and pull him into the back of the ambulance. 

“Sorry are you a friend or relative to him”

“N-no.”

“Then we can’t let you see him” said who she assumed to be the group leader.

“That’s right stay back!” One of them carried a long rod which he used to shock her. It was the same guy who stood guard of the labs.

“Stop that, you should especially know better now.” The group leader held the guy back, 

“I’m here in his father's stead. I work here in Membrane labs, I’m new. Come on please! H-he thinks he knows a way to save him.” 

“Checks out. This goes against protocol, but I think the great Professor Membrane knows more about saving a life than we do, um, obviously.”

“Thank you.”

Mary growled profanities to herself as she carried the tattered little boy back to the labs. His skin was pale and it was obvious that he was atleast slightly underweight. Why couldn’t he come and pick him up himself atleast? He was their father, surely he cared about his children. Then she remembered what the professor said, this was to save his life. She sighed and reassured herself of that before she entered Membrane labs. 

But where to go? He hadn’t even bothered to tell her where to bring him. On an educated guess, she brought him into Membrane’s main personal lab, the place where he worked when he had an experiment that couldn’t be done in his home lab. 

Without so much as turning around, Membrane muttered, “Just set him on the cot.”

That was it. This man’s own son, own flesh and blood just died, and he wasn’t showing a single ounce of human emotion. This man who she admired, watched attentively on T.V. growing up, the man who inspired her to be the world’s greatest female scientist, was a cold-hearted, terrible absentee father. And Mary was going to make sure to tell him just that when she noticed something: Membrane’s hands were shaking so badly he could hardly punch calculations into the computer. 

In the same way this entire time she was trying, and failing, to hide her stutter, it occurred to her that the professor was trying, and failing, to hide how upset he was and ended up trembling. 

Her deduction was accurate. The professor hadn’t felt his heart race so quickly since the accident that occured before he created his son and daughter, the very accident that was now the reason he needed to keep his face obscured. He didn’t want to see his son deceased, and refused to look at the limp body laying on the cot. It was a sight he simply was not willing to see. 

There was only one chance to make this work. Failure meant his son was gone forever. His body was surely already in a terrible state and if things didn’t go right here, for all he knew it could utterly disintegrate. Sure, he could duplicate his DNA and create an entirely new clone but that was the problem- it would be a new clone. It wouldn’t be Dib.

Sure, Dib was insane and there were times he found his antics outright infuriating, but- in the name of science- he was still his boy child and was just adorable enough to trigger paternal feelings in him. In simple terms he loved his boy. But would love be enough to bring him back to life? No, this was no fairy tale , but science would and science this was. 

This had to work. 

The professor had Mary place a funny-looking helmet on Dib’s head, and, after checking everything over one last time, pulled the giant lever.

***

The room filled with a blinding electricity, pulses being sent into the kids brain. A theory proposed by a close colleague of Membrane’s, and wasn’t far from being paranormal in nature with raising the dead and all, something he harshly scolded Dib for doing when he was eight. But this wasn’t pseudo-science, this was revival with pure energy! Either way, he was willing to do anything to save his son.

The energy died down, a pungeant, smoky smell pierced the air. Everything was silent. Finally, he allowed himself to look, just to see if the boy showed any signs of life. He lay so still it was uncanny, not even breathing. And pale, somehow paler than usual. The smoke was coming from his body.

Membrane sighed and hung his head in failure. He would just have to accept it. What he felt that morning was a bad omen, he had neglected it just how he’d neglected his children, and now he was paying the ultimate price. 

He wondered how he would tell his daughter. Surely, she would be devastated. And, no, his little foreign friend. How they were such good friends, the little green boy already lived such a hard life, plagued with so many strange illnesses. So many times he’d offered to help him, but his parental figure, whom he communicated with only over landline, had adamantly refused , claiming they had everything under control. But now, with his best friend gone, he isn't only sickly but such terrible news would add depression to his list of illnesses. 

Mary stood there, frozen in place, not even able to speak, not even in a stutter. 

But Dib was. In one fell swoop, he went from dead silence to screaming. 

Membrane jolted upward, and ran toward his panicking son. Dib hyperventalated and was shouting for his little green friend, or that’s how he perceived it, and having an absolute panic attack. 

“Shshshshsh, it’s alright you’re okay now, son.” Membrane couldn’t keep his composure any longer. He hugged his son as tightly as he could. 

Mary finally got the balls to speak. It was obvious that the man had atleast some care for his child, but she had to test him one last time, just to be certain. “Sir, they’re going to need you back on stage now.”

Membrane gave her an angry glare, “Can you not give us some privacy!”

“oh of course,” Mary nodded and bolted right out, then she smiled. Maybe he wasn’t perfect, far from it in fact, but deep down he truly did care. 

***

“Dad? Ow, Dad, ow.” 

“I’m sorry, son, sorry. I forgot you were still injured.”

“Dad, where am I, what happened?”

“That’s what I was wondering.” The professor sat next to him, an arm firmly around his boy’s shoulders in a safe hug. “I know you’re scared and the details may be fuzzy, but I need to know exactly what happened.”

“The last thing I remember was seeing little piggies.”

“What?”

Dib calmed himself down and tried to think from the beginning. “Well, you’re not going to like it but, I was hunting the paranormal, you know, crazy ol’ me!”

“I figured that out, but more, tell me more.”

“And I needed to get inside the labs to see you! Because I found a piece of evidence I wanted you to be the first to see!”

“I’m… honored?”

“But the guard in front of the guard kept electrocuting me with this giant pole-like thing until I passed out then the paramedics where also shocking me but with you know those shocky pad things! 

“They’re called patches, son.”

“Then they turned into rubber pigs! I know it sounds crazy but just ask anyone else who saw it!”

“That’s-” Membrane was used to responding to his son’s stories with often a simple and blunt, that’s absurd or insane, but seeing the look on his son’s face this time, ran things over in his mind one more time, exactly as Dib described it. An object suddenly turning into another object… that seemed familiar… “Son, I believe you.” 

Light entered Dib’s eyes when he heard the four words he wanted to hear his entire life, “You do, you don’t just think I’m insane?”

“Oh my boy I know you’re insane, but-” not the best choice of words, Membrane realized mid-sentence when he saw Dib about to cry, “But, this story I do believe.”

Someone had gone against his warning. They only knew that replacing objects was possible, and accidently caused unforeseen repurcussions. His ideas, HIS FAULT. He didn’t know how, but he was certain. Membrane’s guilt amplified, he felt sick. 

Hugging Dib once more he said, “If there’s anything, anything at all I can do to make this up to you, just tell me and I’ll make it happen. Just be reasonable.”

“Zim!!” The gears in Dib’s brain suddenly started turning more quickly, “Dad, it was Zim who did this! Build me something I can use to defeat Zim!”

The professor had ideas, he could build him an exosuit that gives him the strength of a hundred little boys, and something impenetrable. And in a different timeline he would but, no. This kid was still the same insane boy he had raised, and he was not about to overcompensate by giving him the power to kill his little foreign friend. Whatever game they were playing had gone too far, way too far. It was obvious to the Professor that Dib struggled to tell fact from fiction and that caused him to almost die. 

“Son, you’re not killing your neighbor, he’s not an alien, he’s a little boy just like you! I’m sick of hearing about this stuff! I tried to be patient with all this paranormal nonsense, but I just can’t do it anymore.”

“Dad, you said anything!”

“I know, but, here’s what I’ll do. I’ll make everything up to you I promise, just not that… “

He was going to make it up to him alright… by finally fixing his mind.


	2. Membranian Sleep Experiment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Membrane figures that Dib is suffering delusions due to sleep deprivation, so he sets a strict bedtime and creates a sleep elixr.

It was the very next day. 

Professor Membrane had an important announcement to make.

“I’m afraid that yesterday my son’s life was all but fully taken by what we’re going to call a freak piggy accident.”

The crowd gasped.

“However, it was not this accident alone that caused this. To start, the very man who was trusted to guard a section of Membrane Labs took advantage his power to electrocute and abuse my son to the point of near death, after which the freak piggy accident only made things worse.” Membrane allowed himself to show some anger in his tone, “I can assure you this man, who does not deserve to be named, will no longer be a problem here, for he is not only fired but will also have severe charges pressed against him. As far as I’m concerned, even the most notorious of criminals don’t take kindly to those who attempt to murder children, and I think he can use some time being taught a lesson, if not only from the court of law, but by them.”

The crown cheered.

“But that isn’t all,” Membrane continued, “there was also another important element at play here. You see, my son has always had something wrong with him, wrong with his mind. For some reason he’s always been absolutely insane, believing in bigfeets, vampire bees, and, ugh, worse of all, ancient aliens.”

Some one from the crowd shouted that he believed in all those things before being beaten down by everyone else for being insane.

“Woah, woah, woah, people, having insane beliefs is not a cause for violence. You see, such beliefs are not as uncommon as you might think, and it’s more important to teach those “conspiracy theorists” the ways of real science than it is to harass them.”

Those who beat up the poor guy held their heads in shame.

“And that is why today I am announcing that I will be taking some time off from my typical field of science to focus on my son and figure out why he’s so insane and can’t see the light of real science no matter how hard I try. By the time I return, my goal is to have cured my son of whatever mental disease tortures his mind, and have his mind guided by the light of real science!”

Everyone cheered.

***

“Son,” Membrane stood at the end of the stairs, “I need to you come down now”

Dib walked down slowly. 

“Faster now, I need to talk to you.”

“Yes Dad?” 

“Are you feeling better now?”

“Still really sore,” Dib groaned and grabbed his ribs, the point where he took most of the damage. “But you actually need to talk to me about something else, don’t you?”

“I’m sorry you went through so much pain, and this is related to that…” Membrane paused, trying to find the exact right words, “I think, first of all, you need to stop hanging out with your little green friend.”

“You mean Zim?”

“Yes, Zim. It seems like he’s been nothing but a bad influence. I know how much you two mean to each other, so this is temporary. But you need to take a break from playing with each other, just long enough for you to come back to reality and realize “Zim’s an Alien” is nothing more than just a childhood game.”

“Not fair. It isn’t just a game! And besides, you never cared before!”

“Son now I’ve always cared, I just never took action.”

Dib was infuriated, not because he actually wanted to see Zim, quite the opposite really, but if he wasn’t even allowed to go to his house, he wouldn’t be able to capture him. He would be able to expose him! His mind raced, he had to convince his dad to change his mind. 

“I know you’re upset, but I’m not changing my mind on this. At least not for a while.”

“Okay, so how can I prove to you that I’m better… or something.”

“You don’t need to prove anything to me, but you do need to finally give up on all this insane paranormal nonsense!”

“But Dad, just let me prove to you Zim’s an alien, I can show you right now!”

“Son, Zim is a sickly child, and the way you fuss so much about him being an alien, I know it’s all a game, but quite frankly I can’t help but see it as bullying to some degree. I will not tolerate it. Until you can tell facts from fiction, games from real life, you will be under my supervision.”

Dibs chest burned with anger. All this other time, his father was just too busy for him, but all of the sudden he cared, and was going to supervise him. But then Dib felt a bit happy. He was going to spend time with him. 

“Son,” Membrane continued, “I know things seem sudden, but when, well, the accident happened, I realized that it isn’t just anyone’s reputation at stake here. You’re undying passion for chasing the paranormal puts your life in danger. As much as I want to support your passions, I need to rid you of it.”

“Dad, I… “ Dib didn’t know what to say. “Dad, I know you’re scared for me, but this is my life.”

“For which I am responsible for.”

“Fine.” Dib reluctantly agreed. He knew deep down he was never going to give up chasing the paranormal or extraterrestrial, he knew those things were real, saw them with his own two eyes, but, for now, he didn’t want to keep arguing with his father. He yawned. 

Membrane noticed that when Dib calmed down a bit, just how tired he was, and took a mental note of that. 

“That’s enough for now.”

***

Membrane pondered on just how much sleep his son actually gets. There were times where Membrane made sure, communicating via his floating monitor, that the children went to bed. For the most part, however, he was never incredibly strict about it, knowing that he himself having stict bedtimes growing up were ultimately futile. 

As for Dib it wasn’t just about bedtimes, it was about whether he was sleeping AT ALL instead of sneaking out every night. The young boy needed sleep to grow and function, and given how often the boy refused to even eat in favor of chasing and playing his silly games, it was a wonder his body hadn’t given up on him much sooner. Was it then possible that his son was suffering from delusionary thought patterns due to sleep deprivation? It was as good a place as any for the professor to start in fixing him. 

So he went back a couple of his old studies on insomnia, which concluded that this sleeping disorder was the result of the brain not producing enough meletonin on its own, and could be effectively treated with microdoses of the substance. 

When night had just started to fall, Membrane called Dib down off the roof. 

“Son, son, son!” It was a stuggle to get Dib to hear through those giant headphones, connected to his computer.

“Yeah Dad?”

“You know it’s a school night, it’s time for you to go to bed.”

“But Dad it’s still daylight, and according to my predictions I should be able to pick up on alien signals-” Dib stopped in his tracks, remembering that this kind of behavior was exactly what got him in this whole mess in the first place, “I’m sorry I know you don’t like it, and it doesn’t matter to you.”

“Regardless a good night's rest is essential to the health of a little boy.”

“What about Gaz, are you making her go to bed, too.”

“Yes,” though Membrane hadn’t actually thought of Gaz, “The both of you in the bed right at 8:30 each night from now on.”

“Fine.” 

“And take this.” He held out a tiny white teacup.

“Tea?”

“Yes, a nighttime tea that should help you sleep.”

“Can I atleast have some honey in it?”

“Of course, now go on to bed and I’ll bring it to you.”

Membrane added a generous amount of honey to the tea. His son seemed to really take a liking to the stuff ever since he came home with those horrendous “vampire bee” stings. Though he treated the stings properly, he didn’t believe they were vampire bees, just regular old bees. The fact that Dib had taken a liking to honey was a purely mental thing, or just sugar craving, typical to a child. He had to check every so often just to make sure Dib wasn’t sneaking entire jars of the stuff. 

He brought the tea to Dib, who was laying in the bed, his adorable space pj’s on and all. Dib smelled the tea before tasting it, it tasted actually kinda good, but kind of like medicine. Of course, his Dad was trying to drug him. 

This happened all the time. On the few occasions Membrane was actually home to care for his sick son, and Dib refused to take his medicine, he’d always slip it into his drink or his food. 

Sleep medicine. Dib figured it out. He was drugging him to make him sleep. But it was too late to go back now. 

Membrane watched and made certain that Dib drank every sip of the tea, even if it made him a little uncomfortable to stare. When he was done, he patted him on the bed, saying goodnight, and walked out of the room. 

Except Dib was right and this wasn’t just any nighttime tea, it was a specially created elixir designed to ensure Dib would get the fullest, deepest sleep and, hopefully, without any side effects. And in order to ensure that this worked, Membrane was going to stand guard all night to make sure it not only made him fall asleep, but kept him asleep. In other words, he had to make sure the boy didn’t sneak out like he so often did.

“Dad what are you doing?” Gaz approached him, startling him enough to make him almost drop the teacup.

“Honey, you’re supposed to be in the bed.” 

“You hugged Dib goodnight, what about me?”

“Oh of course, I’ll be there in a second.”

“What are you doing? Why are you watching Dib sleep?”

Membrane glanced back into the room, where, sure enough, Dib was already fast asleep.   
At least Dib seemed to be asleep, and wondered whether or not to sneak out to go recieve the alien signals. But whatever he was given made his limbs feel so heavy. He decided, he’d stay in bed and sleep one night just to appease his father, then he’d sneak out any other night he felt the need to, alien signals be damned. 

Membrane reasoned with himself, it would only take a moment to tuck Gaz in, and he wanted to be fair. 

“You know how your brother always sneaks out, haha. I was quickly making sure that didn’t happen. Let’s get you on to bed now, shall we.”

He picked the little girl up, and stuck her on his shoulder like he did so often, and carried her to her room, which wasn’t so far away. 

“Love you, Dad.”

“Love you, honey.” He also tousled her hair, and dashed back to Dib’s doorway and breathed a sigh of relief when he saw him still there, still asleep, and for real this time. 

In this state, Dib looked even younger than he already was and so precious and innocent. It was really a shame that as soon as he would wake up, he’d go back to acting so insane. It didn’t seem fair that someone so young could already struggle with a tragic life.

Membrane himself had left home when he was Dib’s age, had as well experienced a lifetime of trauma before even becoming a teenager. At that time he didn’t feel as young as Dib now looks. He didn’t feel much older or younger than he did now. But seeing his son sleeping like a baby, he realized, in some ways, had never stopped being his baby.

Everything was going to be okay, because Membrane was going to make everything all better. 

***

The next morning, Membrane left the doorway barely before Dib fully stirred awake, and pretended that he had been in the kitchen making a cup of coffee the entire time, and boy would he need it. 

“How’d you sleep, son?” he asked. 

Dib feigned a smile and acted like he didn’t know it was laced with some kind of sleeping elixr.   
“Oh, I actually slept really well, I guess that tea you gave me worked.” 

Duly noted. 

A minute later Gaz also came down the stairs, already playing on her game slave. 

“Honey, how long have you been awake?”

“Just got up,” she said, not even looking up. 

“Hmmm,” his mind was running a bit slower due to the lack of sleep, “Well, it’s been a while since I made breakfast for you guys, so sit tight while I, uh, make toast!”

“World’s best cook, our dad,” Gaz remarked with strong sarcasm. Membrane shrugged it off through the mental fog. It wasn’t that he wasn’t used to being up all night, but that was usually paired with the adrenalin of working on an exciting experiment. Watching someone sleep became dull quickly, and now that he thought about it, how long had it actually been since he slept. Had he not slept the night before… ?

“Dad! It’s Zim! Just look out the window! You’ll see it you’ll know I’m not crazy, he’s doing some, I don’t even know just come see!”

“Huh?” he looked out the window but saw a nothing giant thunderstorm. 

“Son, that’s just a regular ol’ storm, no need to worry, it too, will pass. Just stay inside.”

“No Dad, Zim’s making the storms, can you not see him!” 

He couldn’t deal with this. Membrane passed out on the table, spilling his coffee.

Dib had evidently slept well, so the experiment had technically worked. But he was still insane so it was a failure. He had failed.


	3. Thunderstorms and Near-Death Experiences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dib confronts Zim and finds out the truth about the little piggy accident before is life is at stake again.

“Dad, Dad wake up!” both Gaz and Dib shook their father who had passed out before even eating breakfast. 

The storm outside grew louder and more violent. Dib was certain Zim was responsible and he had to be stopped! He tried going out through the window. 

“You know Dad won’t like it if you sneak out, especially right now.”

“Someone has to stop Zim! And besides, I’ll be back soon, Dad won’t even know I was gone!”

He basically fell through the window, the storm immediately soaking his clothes. It was no wonder his dad didn’t believe him, Zim was nowhere to be seen. So Dib made his usual trip straight to Zim’s house.

Zim was buried stacks and stacks of paper covered with potential plans. Sure, he was certain he killed the Dib, but was still trying to figure out just where to go next. Poison the water supply? The government was already doing that. 

Then he heard a familiar, loud knock at the door.

“ZIM! ZIM OPEN UP, ZIM! YOU BETTER STOP THIS! I KNOW IT’S YOU, I JUST DO!”

“What?” Zim red alien eyes widened in surprise, and something close to fear. Was that.. Was that the Dib? It wasn’t possible. He’d essentially killed him, saw the whole thing play out in one of his many computer monitors. He’d even held something of a celebration with GIR right after. 

So how was it that he was, at this very moment, knocking at his door? 

*****

Zim opened the door, “Uh, HI DIB WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!?”

“Zim, I know you’re responsible for this storm, just make it stop before the whole city floods.”

“I don’t have anything to do with it.” 

So it really was Dib. Stupid human. 

“Then what is?” 

“It’s just a normal storm Dib-stink. Don’t you think if it was me, I’d take responsibility and brag about it?”

“Ugh you make a fair point.”

“NO YOU MAKE A FAIR POINT! I mean, HOW ARE YOU HERE! I KILLED YOU! YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE A DEAD-STINK!?”

“What? No, I was just in a coma and I KNEW YOU WERE RESPONSIBLE!” 

The two started to totally duke it out, with Dib throwing months worth of stored-up anger into each punch, which never landed contact on Zim. Eventually Zim had Dib cornered. 

Dib teared up, looking at Zim looming over him. His Dad was right, this alien chasing would spell his end. But hadn’t he died once? Now he was scared and confused. 

“HEYYY MASTER, YOU SAID YOU WERE GOING TO BUY ME A LIL PUPPER BUT YOU NEVER DID! YOU LIE-ED TO ME!” GIR started screaming without any noticable cue.

Zim shouted, “GIR NOT NOW!”

Dib used the distraction to slip away, and barely. Dad was going to be super upset if he saw him like this, no way he’d be able to act like he didn’t go out… unless dad was still asleep and he could sneak in… 

Didn’t work. 

*** 

Membrane snapped right awake as soon as he was lucid enough to realize he fell asleep. A few moments after that he realized Dib was gone. 

“Honey, where is your brother?!” 

Gaz replied, “Take a guess.”

“You’re telling me he actually went alien hunting on a day like today?” He couldn’t hold back his fury. 

“Yes, you were dead asleep for a full hour and not there to stop him so…”

As soon as Dib opened the door, Membrane was there to confront him. ( Yep, should’ve used the back door, Dib thought.)

There were bruises all over his face, even his leather jacket had giant rips in the sleeves. Membrane’s emotions shifted from anger straight to concern. 

“Son, are you alright what happened?”

Dib hesitated, but decided just to be straightforward and tell the truth. “I.. I went to Zim’s house and…”

“Son, you know what I said about Zim!”

“He had these giant legs that came out of his PAK and… he, he almost killed me dad. Because he’s an alien and he hates humans.”

Membrane used his X-Ray pen to check quickly for internal injuries, and was relieved he was fine. -- 

Membrane rested his face on his hand and sighed, “Son, there are no aliens…”  
How could such a sickly boy beat him up like this? “Are you sure this is what really happened, fighting with Zim?”

“Yes Dad, we got into a fight!”  
“This so-called friend of yours tried to kill you?” Membrane started putting bandages on the cut on Dib’s arm. A cut! This neighbor kid was psycho if anything.

“I’ve told you over and over again. He’s not my friend.”

“I think I believe that part now.”

“You do?”

“Yes.” 

Dib grinned slightly, now all he had to do was take Membrane over to Zim’s house, he’d finally see he was an alien, and this would all be over. 

Membrane finished tending to his son’s injuries and said, “Alright, you go on the couch with your sister, I’m going to call the boys parents and tell them about what’s going on.”

“What! Just go to his house right now, you’ll see he doesn’t even have any parents.”

“Ridiculous, I’ve been talking to one of his parents everyday over the phone.”

“You have? Why didn’t you tell me? I guess it’s also like you didn’t tell me I ACTUALLY DIED.”

“That’s enough. I’m still your father and I’ll tell you things I think you need to know! I haven’t forgot that the whole reason we’re in this terrible situation is because you disobeyed me!”

Dib made a fusterated sound that was hard to spell with just letters and went straight to his room, slamming the door as hard as he could, and sat down to cry. He never liked fighting. Everything always went to fighting.

***

Yelling. Everything always went straight to yelling.

Gaz growled words to herself no young child should know and closed the door to her room, locking it shut as if the act of locking the door would drown their fussing out even more. It didn’t work, she could hear them clearly.

***

Membrane did as he said he would do and called who he assumed was the neighbor boy’s father. 

“Hello?” Computer said groggily, as if it was just coming out of sleep mode, which he was.

“Yes. My son came home today. He told me your little boy Zim brutally beat him up, even tried to kill him.”

Computers wiring lit up. As jaded as he was, it was still his duty to ensure Zim didn’t expose himself. In a nanosecond, it sifted through data on how earth parents typically respond to this, and tried to sound as human as it could. “What no. My, uh, little Zim. Impossible!”

“I know no parent wants to believe such a thing, I felt the same way when Dib was sent to the principal's office for bullying a child he thought was a bigfoot, or whatever he called it. Feelings, however, aren’t very scientific, atleast not in hard science. But he was incredibly upset, I saw the cuts and bruises-”

“That’s enough. I’ll deal with him.” Computer hung up. 

That would have to be enough. Infuriated as Membrane was, he couldn’t punish another person’s child. Especially since he already had to deal with his own. 

***

Membrane gave Dib a full hour to calm down, and himself time to think. When he still hadn’t come out of his room, he decided to use his time concocting a new medicine for Dib. It really wasn’t his brightest decision to not tell Dib all of what really happened during the Freak Piggy Accident. It just didn’t occur to him. Dib was recovering, not watching Membrane on the news at that time, and for all he knew he was just in a coma. 

Dib held his legs tightly and shook back and forth. He had died, he had died, he had really, actually died. How was he still alive then? He remembered back to that day, he woke up with his father embracing him. So it stood to reason that he somehow revived him. 

So his dad really did love him, he already knew that, even if he sometimes felt otherwise. Dib felt guilty for yelling at his father earlier. He felt the need to apologize. 

He knew exactly where to find his dad. In his lab, slaving away at whatever project he was working on. 

“Dad?”

Membrane looked straight towards him, different from how he usually didn’t even look up. 

“I just wanted to apologize for earlier, I know you only care about me, and I know we aren’t always on the same page but I know you just wanted to shield me from feeling worse about the accident and I know you wanted me to stay inside for my safety and .. I really am I sorry I know you’re mad at me and-”

“Okay, okay, okay, I understand. I’m not mad, anymore. I am disappointed you directly disobeyed me… but I think you’ve learned your lesson.” Membrane tousled Dib’s hair. It was still so soft, even after everything. 

“So I’m not in trouble?”’

“Well, you are still grounded.” 

“Aw.”

Membrane was so relieved that Dib came out of his room on his own. He had a feeling things weren’t always going to be resolved so relatively quickly.


	4. Night-Terrors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dib has a severe night terror due to a new treatment
> 
> (There will be a mini-bonus chapter/story that ties into this, I'm saving it for next Halloween!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keep in mind, I'm keeping exact names of medications purposefully ambiguous so the exact kind of medicine it actually is can be up to interpretation.

It had become a routine. Along with continuing the sleep medication, which did succeed in giving Dib a better night's rest, Membrane continued sneaking different elixirs into the tea whenever he could. Nothing ever seemed to work or even have any effect. If anything, his son’s parania seemed to only worsen. 

This was no more recognizable when, one night right at midnight, Dib started yelling. 

“Dad, dad!”

“I’ll be there in a minute, son.” The last time something like this happened, Dib thought he saw a ghost which ended up just being spiders. So Dib said, but Membrane figured he just didn’t want to admit to having a nightmare. 

Then yelling turned to screaming, ear piercing, blood curdling screams. 

“I’m coming son!”

Dib was in an absolute panic, pushing himself further into the corner of the wall and trying to escape from… escape from what? 

“Son, what is it, what is it you are seeing?” Membrane tried to approach him. 

“Get away,” Dib smacked his hand away, “Don’t touch me.”

“But son it’s me, your father!” 

“Get away, get away, get away!” 

Membrane tried desperately to see what it was Dib was so afraid of, some ghost or phantom or whatever it was. But Membrane knew with certainty only he and Dib were in the room. So the only other option was that Dib was hallucinating. He’d finally snapped and lost it

This couldn’t be happening. Membrane had already lost all other of his family to insanity, he couldn’t lose Dib, too. 

Membrane watched his son be more scared than he had ever been in his entire life all the while not being able to comfort him until the sun started to rise and Dib started to calm down, to realize his father was not a monster trying to kill him. He hugged and held him tight and carried him to his bedroom, where Dib finally fell asleep.

Maybe it was the medicine, maybe it was just a severe side effect to the medication he had given him. Membrane thought about this before he, too, fell asleep. So from then on, he never gave Dib that particular medicine again. 

(Sure enough, as he had found out later, hallucinations were a common side effect to the medicine.) 

***

That afternoon, when Membrane woke from his dozing, he went straight to ensuring that everything back at the labs was going well through reading his emails on his tablet, still holding Dib by his side, like he had been as they slept the day away. When Dib was an even tinier little boy child, he’d have terrible nightmares almost every night, and would crawl into his father's bed. This was before Membrane had started working nearly constantly. 

Membrane observed, again, Dib was so small. And he was just… scared. 

Not willing to risk such a horrible side effect again, it was a few days before Membrane gave Dib searched through all the scholarly he could find on treatments for insane children that actually worked. He happened upon a Child-Behave Serum something given to patients with hyperactivty. He looked over the side effects. At least there was nothing about hallucinating. 

It had to be worth a try. So Membrane used his scientist status to obtain some and prescribed it to Dib. 

Dib held the pills in his hand, and wondered if he should try to toss them. Just refuse to take the medicine and pretend to be “sane” until his father stopped trying these drugs on him. But his father was watching, making sure he took them, he had no choice. 

***

The Child-Behave Serum seemed to work. Seemed to.

The entire night and day were incredibly peaceful. There wasn’t a single interupption from Dib or his sister, and Membrane could finally get back to working on a personal project, as he had realized, his main focus had been on either Dib or the main labs for weeks now, he needed a break from all that. 

Dib stayed in his room, seeming kind of depressed, but Membrane chalked it up to the difficulty of giving up an interest.

It had been well over a year since the family ate dinner together at home. So that night Membrane attempted to cook the kids one of their favorite meals, chicken and rice, but ended up scorching the chicken and the rice, well, wasn’t rice-y anymore. He ended up ordering takeout instead. 

“Kids, it’s dinnertime!” he called them down. Gaz came, but had her head buried into her device as usual, and Dib was a no show. 

“Son!” 

Dib finally came down, and Membrane could tell from his body language that something was off about him, still upset about giving up on his interests, a good meal would cheer him up, surely!

Everyone dug into their take out, arranged onto the plates as if to feel more like a homecooked meal, except Dib, who sat with a blank stare on his face. Then Membrane realized: Dib wasn’t sad, he didn’t seem to have any emotion at all. 

And this was true, just a little while after taking the white and orange pills, he felt an almost sense of zen except it didn’t feel good, he just felt incredibly numb. Even the thought of capturing Zim couldn’t excite him. 

Using the tip of his spoon, Membrane nudged Dib gently on the shoulder, “Come on, son. You need to eat. Your growing body needs the calories.”

Dib, still dazed, nodded and ate the food in a robotic fashion. In fact, his entire demeanor was that of a robot, or as Dib himself would say, like an alien trying to be human. 

“Son, I know giving up your little obsessions is hard. But there’s no need to mope, afterall, there’s more to life than a single hobby, you can try a new hobby. Hey, how about you try science!”

“Isn’t it obvious, Dad. He doesn’t want to do science! He’s made that clear to you, stop probing him on it!” 

“I’m simply trying to get him to do what would make him happy!”

“Chasing Zim made him happy! But you’re too oblivious to see that! Also, I’m with Dib on this, how are you the only one in this family who can’t tell he’s an alien?”

“Wait a minute, honey, you believe Zim’s an alien too?”

“Dad, he doesn’t do a good job at hiding it.”

“You’ve been brainwashed by your brother into believing insane things.”

“Whatever you say, Dad.”

Dib kept staring, and though he wasn’t able to feel anything, he was aware of the fact that they were talking about him like he wasn’t there. 

Gaz left the dinner table. 

“Honey, you didn’t finish!” 

“I’m full.”

Dib just couldn’t believe his sister was taking up for him for once. She usually sided against him, even if she knew he was right. Unless she was mad at the person he was siding against. 

That meant Gaz was also mad at Dad. But why?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Both of these are based on experiences I've read about when people are put through different medicines. The hallucinations are based on a type of medicine I don't remember the name of, but remember reading about in a book called "Brave Girl Eating." 
> 
> I figured even though Dib isn't being treated for an eating disorder, the idea of being tossed into different treatments at a young age to treat strange mental illness was actually inspired by "Brave Girl Eating" and Jenny Hendricks "Slim to None" and that's why I included the hallucinogen since that part really stuck with me.


	5. Father-Son Therapy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Professor's intern, Mary, suggests that Membrane simply talk to Dib.  
> He takes that to mean host a therapy session.

Things may not have been exactly the way he wanted them to be, but Membrane had accomplished his goal of stirring his son away from insane interests. So he went back to the labs to continue working. 

“I figured you’d be much happier, Professor,” his intern, Mary, deducted. 

“I did too but, you see, I’ve cured my son of his ailment, but now it seems like, he’s not my son, not Dib Membrane anymore.”

“What did you say his ailment was in the first place?”

“Insanity! He believed the neighbor boy was an alien, but long before that, he thought one of the kid’s in his class was a sasquatch, not too long ago he thought he was stung by vampire bees. Vampire, bees, intern.”

“I don’t think you have to be insane to believe stuff like that, especially since he’s just a kid.”

“It’s not just what he believes, it’s how erratic he is. If he wanted to think those things exist, then fine. But he puts his life in danger, just to prove what? What does it matter in the end? And, young intern, what’s that you’re holding?”

“Oh, nothing.” She quickly straightened up the stack of papers and clipped them back onto her clipboard. 

“Just let me see.” 

“Alright.”

They were diagnostic papers for Asperger’s Syndrome. 

“I didn’t mean to let anyone see those. I really shouldn’t have brought them with me, it’s just… I don’t know I got them earlier and I never got a chance to read them, it's just personal,” Mary’s face burned hot. 

“Just tell me, what does it mean?”

“It means I’m on the autism spectrum, just high fuctioning, or whatever they decide to say is high-fuctioning. And that means I mostly struggle with social skills, expression reading, and I stim, I do a lot of stimming.” She tapped her pen repeatedly on the clipboard. “I get easily overstimulated, and I hyperfixtate on things. ” She laughed. “Heck, the only reason I realized I might be autistic in the first place was because I got hyper-fixtated on researching it back in my college psychology class.”

Membrane looked through some of the criteria, “I see, excuse me for probing. It’s just that, these symptoms seem very similar to what I’ve observed in my son, do you think he might also be autistic?”

“I may have taken psychology, but I’m still not a psychologist, sir.” 

“I’m not either.” Membrane tried to hide how he looked down on the “soft-sciences”

“Though based on stuff you tell me about Dib, I’ve considered it for a while.” She started to chew on the tip of her pen.

“I see.” Membrane handed the papers back. 

“Have you ever just tried talking to him sir? Your son.”

“You mean, like be his therapist?”

“However you like to say it.”

***

It wasn’t a bad idea, and the Professor’s ego was too large to let him outright admit it, but he should’ve thought of it from the start. The goal was no longer to find a quick-fix or cure. Dib’s mind was Membrane’s black box, the one thing that he just couldn’t seem to figure out. But now, he was determined to. Membrane was no psychoanalyst, in fact the soft sciences always seemed… less real to him. But now, he had to be, and he was going to. 

“Alright son.” Membrane equipped himself with a notebook and all, just like a real therapist. “Lay down there on the couch.”

Dib, rolled his eyes. His dad was playing therapist now. Of all the crazy things…. Whatever. He lay down on the couch.

“Are you feeling alright?”

Dib decided to just be honest, “No, I’m actually kind of sad.”

Noted. 

“Hmmm… well, you don’t need to take that medicine if you don’t want to anymore.”

“Good, I didn’t like the way it made me feel.”

“Oh, why didn’t you just tell me?”

“You don’t exactly always listen, Dad.”

“Well, I’m listening now. Let’s cut to the important questions: Where do you think all this weird alien obsession started?”

Dib sat up, he never expected his dad to actually care about that, or to engage in anyway in his paranormal interest by asking him to talk about it.

“Son, I know this seems like a weird way to say, I just want to talk. So, just tell me, where do YOU think it started.”

“I believe it started…” Dib thought back to his earliest memory, “When I was a baby, I was abducted by aliens.”

Membrane looked up from his notes, a look at his son’s expression made it clear he was not joking, “That’s impossible. I was with you constantly until you were eight! I would’ve known if that happened.”

“Then what am I remembering? I was surrounded by weird glowing tubes, everything was liquid and..”

As Dib described this memory, Membrane felt the color drain from his face. Everything he was describing, indeed, had a scientific explanation. And Dib wasn’t going to like it. 

“... there was this giant, really tall alien-”

“That was me.”

Dib’s head turned. “What?”

“Son, you were not abducted by aliens, that so called alien-man you saw was me.”

“B-but how?”

“Son.” Membrane pulled up his gogles and pulled down his collar, revealing his scar and all. 

Dib, saw right in front of him, what appeared like a fully grown version of himself. Something clicked. “Dad, am I a clone…. Of you?”

“You and your sister both. Now, I know this is a lot to take in-”

“This is just another thing you never thought to tell me! Don’t you understand, my obsessions, the reason everyone thinks I’m insane, it all comes back to you!”

Membrane nodded. “I understand that, I was going to tell you when you were older, I promise. You’re already so insane as it is, I didn’t want to-”

“You think I’m insane! Me, insane! Take a look in the mirror! You have a revenge plot against Santa, SANTA OF ALL THINGS. Not to burst your bubble, but nobody believes in Santa Claus unless they’re a really little kid.”

“Santa hurt me on a personal level.” (The truth was that his parents at one point actually bought him a box of socks and fooled him into thinking it was the gift he wanted from santa. Not wanting to admit to his parents being so cruel, he formed his vendetta against Santa in a delusion of denial. At times he wondered if his son’s alien obsession was a similar emotion-based delusion. He just hoped he wasn’t the root of it, as he seemed to be the root of everything bad in his life one way or another.)

“And do you know who hurt me on a personal level? Zim. BUT you even more. I used to trust you, but now I’m just your guinea pig. I bet you never even brought me back to life, I bet I’m just some spare clone from the back.”

“It doesn’t work that way, son. Get back here! where are you going?”

“I’m going to go stop, Zim. And you can’t stop me because you’re not my dad, you’re just a man who cloned himself for the hell of it!”

“But that’s not..” It was true. He couldn’t deny it. “At the beginning, creating clones of myself was nothing more than a means to ensure my legacy lived on. But you, and later your sister, so quickly became more than that, so much more.”

“Whatever you say, Professor.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mary's part is kind of based off a time I printed out diagnostic tests for Asperger's that I meant to keep for myself and I carried them around my campus a bit, even a school counselor. I'm certain both he and my art teacher saw them and what's worse... 
> 
> I lost the papers. OOPS. 
> 
> And in case you haven't caught on, Mary is a totally a self-insert. I am shameless.
> 
> AND CREDIT WHERE CREDIT IS DUE. SOME OF THESE CONVERSATIONS AND EVENTS ARE INSPIRED BY CEPHALON-GHOST'S "MEMBRANE'S GUIDE TO BE A BETTER PARENT: LOSE YOUR FUCKING ARMS" SERIES. INSPIRED. NOT COPIED. EXCEPT FOR THE CLONE THING. I'M NOT SURE HOW TO IMPROVE ON THAT.


	6. Latent Dysfunction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dib starts releasing anger he had pent up about his dad. Membrane realizes that he’s lost his final chance to help Dib. The familial dysfunction is worse than ever before, and something was about to force everything to change...

Membrane gave up. He’d done everything he could think of to do, and now that Dib was mad at him, and for good reason, he felt he was never going to break through to him. Dib blamed him for his crappy life, his terrible luck, and rightly so. His son hated him now, he was sure of it. 

This was clear one morning, the day after he revealed to Dib he was a clone. Membrane had his food-bot* up and running, for the kid’s breakfast while he was at the lab. Usually he had pre-recorded messages set up, but he decided to be as face to face as he could. Perfectly normal way to communicate with your children, he had justified it to himself in the past, afterall don’t most young people communicate through a screen?

His food-bot was able to make most kinds of foods. It wasn’t quite Cloudy with Chance of Meatball levels of food-ness, but it was getting there. Either way, it was better than the kids having no food at all. In order to receive a meal from it both the kids had to punch in a key, the answer one simple question, one Membrane hoped they knew the answer to. 

“Do you love me?”  
YES or NO

Gaz had come down stairs, set down her Game-Slave for once, and hit YES. However, when Dib was faced with the question, he stood still. 

“Do you love me?” Membrane asked. Dib may have been mad at him, but surely he still loved him, right?

“Doyouloveme, doyouloveme, doyouloveme,” it was a small recorded clip of Membrane asking the question over and over, but it was also a parallel to what he was thinking at that time. 

Dib slammed his fist on NO and stormed out. 

***

If Dib was going to bury himself in his obsession no matter what, Membrane was going to go twice as hard at making up for all the work he missed while gone. He barely slept or ate. 

Something had to change. 

In his next big show, he was going to show children that sharks didn’t have to be so scary, in fact, they could be friends. The Professor focused on this and felt giddy, a childhood dream was finally going to come true. 

“Professor, you look exhausted, maybe we should wait to do this.”

“I can’t possibly wait any longer, Mary. Now, please move aside. It’s showtime!”

The crowd cheered him on, the crowd never got mad at him for creating clones. They loved him, no matter what he said, or so he thought! 

“Hello, children. Today, I present to you, sharks! Don’t be scared now, they are my friends, let me show you!”

But he didn’t jump into the water as planned, but passed out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The food-bot here is more like the the one from Foodio 3000’s appearance in Ten Minutes to Doom, adapted to fit the story.


	7. ...

“Dad! Dad! Dad!” 

He woke up to both his children beating on his chest. He could barely see without his glasses, but just well enough to make out Dib’s unique cow-lick and Gaz’s magenta hair. He tried to speak but couldn’t. 

“Why can’t you be more careful, Dad?” Dib cried, “You’re the one who nearly lost his life this time!”

Memories flickered like short movie clips in his mind. Being jolted awake by the cold water, and even more from the pain from…. 

From the sharks.


	8. In Trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The kids are picked up from school to see their father.

Dib was in school when it happened. Not that he necessarily wanted to go, what and all with kids being constant wedgie-giving jerks and the teachers, especially his teacher, Ms. Bitters being… he didn’t even want to remember the situation that happened with Ms. Bitters that one time*. He shuddered. 

But Zim was there. And where Zim was, he had to be. How else would he have a chance to stop him?

“OOH, YOU’RE IN TROUBLE!” the children around him teased. 

“Huh?” he looked around to see what was going on. 

“REPEAT. DIB MEMBRANE, REPORT TO THE OFFICE. NOW.”

Dib accepted his fate and stalked to the office. The principal (and her weird beaver) must’ve got sick of him throwing food at lunch…. Or tackling kids on the playground or, now that he thought about it, he definitely was not a poster child by any means. And this wasn’t exactly the first time he had to make this trip. 

He saw that Gaz was there, too, sitting on the bench right outside the office and laser focused on her game. 

“Did you try to kill Mr. Elliot again?”

“No, not today. Did you start another food fight?” 

“No, not today.” Dib started to get a bad feeling in his gut, an omen. Dib did believe in omens.

Then a man came out of the door, wearing a white button up shirt and a black bowtie. He had a huched back and black hair. 

“I’m sorry to meet you guys like this children, I’m Mr. Dwicky. I’m the new school counselor.”

“What happened to the old one?”

“Just…. something bad, just like the news I have for you. I wish we could meet in better circumstances but I have to inform you: I just got a call from Membrane labs, your father was in a lab accident.”

***

A few minutes later their “mother” as mistaken by the counselor, came to pick the children up and take them to the hospital to see their father. 

“Who are you?” Dib asked the “mother.”

Gaz added, “We aren’t supposed to take rides from strangers.”

“My name is Mary, I’m your father’s intern. I should be on the list of people who can pick you guys up.”

Mr. Dwicky said, “I’m sorry. I don’t see your name on the list.”

Mary would’ve growled if she wasn’t so shy. That man said he’d put her on the list. Per the usual, she pulled out her name card and showed it. 

“I’m here in their father’s name, he really can’t be here right now.”

Gaz looked up, her eyes actually open, “What happened?”

“I’ll explain everything on the ride there, you’re letting me take them right?” She stuck her card out in Dwicky’s face, hoping that her sudden, more aggressive approach to him. 

“Okay, okay, go ahead. Just make sure your name gets on the list if you need to pick them up again.”

“Good.” She grabbed the two children’s hands and took them out to the van. 

Dib couldn’t process anything properly. His father couldn’t be here right now. That was not a new sentence to him, but paired with him being in a lab accident….

He held his stomach as he tried not to puke.

Mary looked at the kids through the rearview mirror. “I’m telling you this to prepare you for what you’ll see when you walk through the hospital doors. We were filming the shark segment, your father decided to try to befriend the sharks..” she held back from blurting how stupid that was,”... but he hasn’t been sleeping or eating properly, he passed out and fell into the tank before we were ready for him.”

“Just please say he’s alive!” Dib blurted out! He wouldn’t be able to handle if he was dead, and especially not with the last things he said to him. 

“Calm down, he’s alive.” 

The relief that flooded Dib’s system could not be measured using scientific instruments. Even Gaz was willing to show a rare ounce of sisterly affection and pat his shoulder as he cried tears of joy. 

Gaz too was relieved. Her last words to him wouldn’t have been the best either. 

Mary continued, “Kids, he was attacked by the sharks and let’s just say, don’t expect a hug from him, not right away.”

They understood what she meant as soon as they saw him.


	9. Streamlining Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When the dust settles, Membrane’s makes a promise to himself, despite himself.

Never before did the Professor so badly want to hug his children, ruffle their hair, comfort their sadness, wipe their tears, but he couldn’t move his arms. And after some time it sunk in. He didn’t have them. 

The children eventually had to be dragged away so he could be operated on. A pair of prosthetic arms were built, designed by his trusty lab team, and ready to be attached. They were janky but could do until he was able to modify them, or just build a new pair of his own. 

Even once the arms were attached he had to stay in the hospital. He had lost an enormous amount of blood, and had to be tended to, via bags of liquid attached to pumps, until his body could restore what was lost. 

Even with that there was a possibility that he would never be able to practice science the same way ever again. In fact, there was a possibility that he would never be able to conduct science again. 

And, despite himself, he was fine with that possibility. 

However, Membrane couldn’t shake the feeling that he could have lost so much more, that he nearly did lose so much more. The most important thing in the world. 

His relationship with his children. 

He made sure they were able to visit everyday, first by calling the sure and making sure Mary was on the pick-up list. He determined as soon as he got out of this wretched hospital, it was time to… okay well maybe not retire, but he could certainly cut how much he had to work by cancelling his show, a decision made by the network itself after the sharp drop in ratings brought in by children seeing blood for the first time. He would stay home, much much more often, and be there for his children. 

There, in the middle of the hospital, he made a promise to himself. A promise that if he broke it he might as well have never been born: He was going to be a better parent, no matter what it took.


	10. Speak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What if Dib, Gaz, and Membrane finally just... talked to each other?

With this set goal in mind, he made no hesitation to enact on it the second he was back home. 

“Son, I think we’re ready to talk now. Normally this time.”

“Yeah, and outside the hospital, too. I was so scared when they said you were in an accident, I didn’t want you to be dead, it doesn’t matter if I’m your clone. Yeah, you’re a shitty father! But still love you and I’m sorry!”

Dib hugged him, and Membrane wasn’t sure what to do at first. If he hugged back with his new arms, he risked squeezing him too hard. 

He attempted to rousle Dib’s scathe, in stiff awkward “hand” movements. 

“Son, I was wrong about a lot of things. I’ve made a lot of mistakes, but you were not one of them. Your sister was not one of them. I love both of you children. I hope you know that.”

Gaz came into the room, and she stood there for a minute. 

“What’s wrong honey?” Membrane asked.

“N-nothing,” she said, but he could tell she was holding back tears. 

“I said I love both you children, so come here honey.” he wanted to tousle her hair as well but she wouldn’t come close enough. 

“You say you love us but you’re just never around! And when you are, you only care about Dib’s problems, not mine!”

“Honey, if you’re having a problem why couldn’t you just tell me?” 

“You’re just too busy. So FUCKING busy! And.” she put the game down, swallowed, and looked him in the face, “And, I wasn’t sure if you cared.”

“Then honey, tell me anything. Regardless of whether I was there for you before, I’m right here right now for you. What’s been bothering you?”

“It’s nothing specific, it's just…” Gaz looked down, she was not the type of person to talk about feelings. “I’m just really frustrated! You guys are always yelling at each other. And yet you still spend more time with Dib than me.” she held her head for a full minute, “I feel like he’s actually your favorite! There I said it!

Both Dib and Membrane stood in silence. “Gaz, I... I always thought you were Dad’s favorite. I mean, you’re his funny child, but I know I’m his insane one. Or atleast, he implies it or.. Any way he always supports you and your video games, he never supports me exposing Zim.”

“Can’t you see? You were meant to be his replacement, and that’s why he cares whether or not you do science. I was just Dad’s attempt to make a girl. He doesn’t care what I do!”

“Children!” Membrane interrupted, “It’s wrong for a parent to pick favorites. But even if it wasn’t, I couldn’t possibly bring myself to do so! I said I love both of you, and that means both of you the same. Even though, I’ll admit, I showed it to you both in different ways.”

He tried to put his hands on their shoulders but really ended up hovering a bit above them.

“Look, I’m a brilliant scientist, but lately I’ve been forced to realize that I’ve lacked in the parenting department. And, okay let’s face it I have zero to no significant social skills. I’ve neglected you, I’ve treated both of you poorly, and I don’t know how I didn’t even realize it….”

“Dad, I think I understand. I don’t forgive you. Not fully. But I do understand, I think.” 

“How could you possibly understand? You’re not a parent.”

“No. I’m not a parent, but. Dad, I really am your clone. I-”

“Son, what do you mean?”

“I get so caught up in trying to expose Zim sometimes I forget just about anything else except exposing Zim. And I’m not interested in anything else except for what it takes to expose Zim.”

“So what you’re trying to say is that for you exposing Zim is like me wanting to do science?”

“Yes, I think that’s what I mean. Yes, that’s what I mean. I just want to make people see that’s there’s something bigger out there so that people would just get along and stop fighting all the time and instead focus on one big thing… do you know what I mean?”

“You want to make the world a better place?”

“YES!”

“Son, through science I can and DO make the world a better place!”

“But I’m not interested in your type of science.”

“You’re interested in your type of science! And I in mine.”

Dib cried and hugged his Dad harder than he hugs his suitcase to his chest when he feels scared, “You called it science!”

“I did didn’t I…”

Gaz intruded, “I think I’m the same way with my video games except that I can still listen to other people and focus on my game at the same time. But for some reason you two can’t seem to focus on much more than one or two things at once.”

“That’s our greatest strength, AND our greatest weakness.” Membrane concluded before carrying on, “Now, I don’t expect you to forgive me, I don’t think I deserve to be forgiven.”

The last thing Membrane wanted to do was cry. He hated when he cried. But he cried anyway.

Dib held his arm and pressed it down onto his shoulder, “Dad, don’t be afraid to touch us, please.”

“I’m afraid I’ll hurt you.”

Gaz did the same, “It doesn’t hurt.”

“Now Dib, onto what I actually needed to talk to you about. I’ve realized that.. You’re not insane, and even if you are I am too. You don’t have anything that needs to be cured. You and I, were just… built different. And though we don’t share the same beliefs, I promise I won’t call you insane anymore, so long as you also meet me half-way.”

“I’m listening.” Dib said.

He pondered on how to tell him. “No more dangerous stunts, please. Because you’re not just another clone. Even if I re-replicated DNA and tried to make another you, it wouldn’t be the same. And even though the revival procedure worked, it’s still never a guarantee. And also, if your body is destroyed beyond repair and you die, there’s no hope.” he ran his hand through Dib’s hair, “I truly don’t think I’d be able to handle losing either of you.”

“And you should be more careful! YOU ALMOST DIED!” Gaz screamed. 

“It was close to a miracle that I survived those sharks. If you promise to me you’ll be careful, I will be too.”

“I promise, Dad.”

“Wait, no. I’ll be careful either way, but GOD DIB PLEASE JUST BE CAREFUL I DON’T KNOW HOW ELSE TO SAY IT.”

“OKAY. OKAY, I’LL BE CAREFUL.”

“You see, son, you and I both, we have this condition, it’s something were born with and can’t be helped, and you’re not broken and don’t need to be fixed-”

“Dad, I’m not gay!”

“Even if you were, I will support you. But what I was trying to say was ADHD son. Maybe. And high-functioning autism. Maybe. It means... “

“I know what it means. One of the school counselors told me I probably have it and explained it to me once.”

“Oh. So Mary was probably right.”

“Mary? You mean your assistant?”

“Yeah. She is also on the autism spectrum and she identified with many of the traits we express. She really needs to be a psychologist.” 

“But Dad I thought you hated the- the- uh, what did you call them?”

“Social sciences?”

“Yeah, those.”

“Oh, I never hated them. They just feel less real to me.” He stopped him self from saying: In the same way paranormal science feels less real to me.

“Oh.”

“So, you’re sure there’s nothing wrong with us.”

“Of course not.”

The color drained from Dib’s his face

“GAH! I mean, of course there’s nothing wrong with us. You are who you are. We just need to make sure we aren’t hurting people along the way.” He turned towards Gaz, “And, honey, I’m sorry for making you feel like I was putting Dib over you. Perhaps we could… play video games together or something?” He still wasn’t sure if he should reveal that he was a bit of a gamer himself. 

She took his hand and led him to the couch, “Of course Dad.”

It was almost as if she had been waiting for that moment…..

“And Dib?”

“Yes Dad?” 

“What is something you’d think you’d like to do with me?”

“Well, actually expose Zim. ”

“Son. I physically can’t do that right now. I’m not supposed to overexert myself.”

“Oh. I didn’t think of that.”

“It’s okay. Just try thinking of something else.”

“What about something we’d both be able to do and enjoy?”

“Meeting half-way….” Membrane whispered so low Dib couldn’t hear him. 

Gaz intruded, “DAD!” 

“Oh, that’s right honey, video games. Oh, Dib, would you like to play?” 

“Ehh, I think I’ll let that be your own thing. At least right now.” 

A light sparked in his eyes. 

“DAD! I just thought of something we could do together! But I want it to be a surprise, okay?”

The professor wasn’t big on surprises. But he said, “Okay.”

As he played video games with Gaz he had to keep himself from pondering on what the surprise was.


	11. The Middle Ground

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Membrane and Dib, quite literally, find their middle ground.

“Dad, are you sure your eyes are closed, no peeking!”

Dib had Membrane by the hand, leading him to the surprise, but he couldn’t tell if his dad’s eyes were open behind his goggles. 

“Son, I promise you, I am not peeking right now.” He did however, try to peek before that. HE WAS JUST SO EXCITED! But since he couldn’t open his eyes, he relied on his other senses. They were going up stairs, he heard a door open, he felt the cool night air. They were on the roof. 

“Okay Dad, you can open your eyes now.”

“FINALLY.” 

On the roof was a telescope, and beyond it, a brilliant night sky. 

“I wanted to make sure everything was set up correctly. I’m just glad it’s a beautiful night. . .” he chuckled. 

“Just like when you were a toddler…” Membrane had his hand over his mouth, tears streaming down his face. 

“Dad, are you okay?”

“Yes, son, are you?”

“Yes.”

Membrane nodded his head, smiled, and thought to himself, “Behold, my boy child!”


End file.
